Friday, March 18, 2011

HOW TO BE A BIT*H with a clear conscience




# 1 - Dress up, go to a public place, sit, cry and eat something fatty.

# 2 - Love everyone/thing, even the trees.

# 3 - Sing Beyonce’s single ladies song in the shower in your loudest voice everyday until your  neighbours complain.

# 4 - Sit at a restuarant, in the rain, like, it’s the only way.

# 5 - Go to the gym and enjoy it, because you know you stop at the KFC on the way home.

# 6 - Cry during stupid flicks like high school musical.

# 7 - Hate the world and people for living.

# 8 - Laugh when in doubt, even if it’s at your own jokes.

# 9 - Fart quietly in a corner and move to the next room with a grin on your face.

# 10 - Cut an apple and tell people how much you enjoy the pain when you cut yourself.

# 11 - Abbreviate, abbrev, abbre, abb...

# 12 - Say shut up to your parents... and run like you will never come back.

# 13 - Invite your boyfriend to sleep over, start a fight just before bedtime, make him sleep on the couch and apologize first thing in the morning.

# 14 - Order a meal and shout at the waitress for being too slow, then order her to put it in a take out bag because you just remembered the doctor’s order not to eat such meals, then order something else to eat there.

# 15 – Take a long distance (more than 4 hours) trip in a public transport dressing up in a Ephymol design and Bally Renova boots and tell people Ephraim Molingoane is your ex boyfriend’s cousin.




1 comment: